My Nigerian Creeper

So today was a very interesting day to say the least. I woke up feeling like it was any other Thursday (my favorite day since I don't have class on Thursdays), but to my surprise I was overwhelmed by complete and utter creeperdom. I decided to FINALLY go to the post office to ship my souvenirs and extra knick knacks. I already know trying to stuff all the crap I've collected over the past few months into my suitcases would be futile. I already had the boxes, so I packed them up and headed out for the post office. Then the creepiness commenced.

I was about a block from El Corte Ingles (there's a post office on the 7th floor), when I heard a man say "Hello". Since I didn't know him, I ignored him and kept walking. Then he said hello again, this time clearly staring into my face. I responded Hola and kept walking. He asks me, "You speak English?" I said yeah and he says "I know you do." That should have been enough of a red flag for me to know he was a major creep. He starts a bit of small talk with me then asks me where I'm going. At this point, we're in front of the main doors to El Corte so I say "Here" and turn into El Corte thinking that would be the end of it.

I was wrong. I turned and realized that he was following me through El Corte. I'm pretty creeped out by now, so I decide to be as nice as possible to keep him from possibly freaking out. Here's a quick outline of how this conversation went:

Nigerian Creeper (NC): So where are you from?

Me: The US. And you?

NC: Nigeria. 

Me: Oh. I know lots of Nigerians.

NC: Really? Male or female?

So I'm even more creeped out by this question. Why does it matter?

Me: Ummm, both.

NC: So what's your name?

Me: I don't want to tell you my name and I would appreciate if you would stop following me.

NC: Why don't you want to tell me your name?

Me: Because you're a stranger.

NC: I won't be a stranger if you tell me your name. My name is ...

I'm not sure what he said. He had a really thick accent, so I'm not quite sure what he was saying half the time. At this point we're at the elevator and I'm praying he doesn't follow me onto the elevator.

Me: I'm not telling you my name. Please stop following me.

NC: Why do you keep saying that you don't want me to follow you? I don't understand.

Me: It's because I don't want you to follow me. You're a stranger. In America, it's frowned upon to follow someone and continue to talk to them after they have asked you to leave them alone.

Of course, he follows me onto the elevator (that thankfully has other people on it already). He's trying to talk to me through other people, but I'm still not sure what he's saying. He asks me if I'm a Christian, then starts to recite some Bible verse and some quote about inner beauty or something. The elevator opens and he follows me off. That's when he hit me with the super creepiness.

NC: When I saw you in Plaza de España, my heart just jumped with joy.

I was like SCHUH!?!?!? You followed me all the way from Plaza de España? El Corte Ingles is about 4 blocks from Plaza de España, so now I'm officially creeped out. We get off the elevator and I realize I'm on the wrong floor. I ask a worker in Spanish where the post office is she tells me how to get there. He's amazed that I speak Spanish, then proceeds to follow me up the escalator to the next floor. I ask him again to stop following me and he again responds that he doesn't understand why I don't want him to follow me. I get to the counter and begin the ridiculously expensive process of shipping items internationally. After about 15 minutes, the lady tells me they don't accept cards so I have to go all the way to the bottom floor to the ATM to get cash. I turn around and he's STILL THERE!!! And he starts to follow me to the elevator.

NC: Are you done?

Me: Please leave me alone! 

NC: Why do you keep using the elevator?

Me: Because I have to go down 8 floors!!! Now can you stop following me?

Of course he then follows me onto the elevator and down 8 floors. I use the ATM and turn around and he's still there.

Me: Please stop following me.

NC: Well, I just feel like I need to tell you I love you. You just have such a great spirit.

Me: Please leave me alone. You're starting to creep me out.

NC: Well then let me give you my number.

Me: I don't want your number because I won't call you.

NC: Well then give me your number.

Me: NO!! I don't want you to call me either.

NC: Well then where do you live?

Me: If I won't give you my number, I'm not going to tell you where I live.

NC: Then, how will we see each other again.

Me: That's the point. I don't want to see you again. I would really appreciate if you would stop following me now.

NC: Okay. Will I see you again.

Me: No, hopefully not.

And then he finally walks away. This whole ordeal lasted about 30 minutes before he finally got the hint that I didn't want him to follow me. The whole time I'm thinking in my head "How do you say this man is following me in Spanish"? So creepy. I always try to stay positive, so I just told myself at least this didn't happen right when I got to Spain. I would have been a nervous wreck if that had happened in February. It's okay though. He didn't seem like a dangerous creeper, just a creepy creeper.